Myths about Therapy
Right now, I consider myself extremely fortunate, because I am in graduate school, studying to become a licensed therapist, a field I am indescribably passionate about. Part of our school requirements includes the process of attending our own personal psychotherapy sessions to witness what the other side of the couch feels like. In my experiences of learning how to be a professional, while subsequently being a client, I have realized that our society promotes many stubborn myths regarding the therapeutic process entails. I hope this article clears some of these unfortunate misconceptions.
“Therapists are the experts.”
Actually, therapists are humans. They are not walking, compassionate fountains of knowledge who understand the textbook symptoms of every disorder or situation to inflict mankind. Yes, they are rigorously trained and educated. Yes, they are prepared to work through a variety of situations. And, yes, of course, they must hold a strong base of understanding and interpreting the complexity of human behavior. No, they do not know all the answers, nor do they pretend to. Therapists are required to take on clients of whom they are competent to treat; this is an ethical requirement. Likewise, they do not exist to provide expert knowledge to a client. That is what Google, textbooks, and self-help books are for. Therapists aim to guide the client’s feelings, thoughts, and perceptions in a safe and non-judgmental environment. Therapists aim to make the client accountable for being the expert of his or her own life.
“A good therapist will solve my problems.”
Therapy introduces and raises awareness to a client’s conscious and subconscious problems, but, at the end of the day, the client holds the responsibility for making the necessary changes. Therapists do not hand-hold. They are not the puppet masters controlling a client’s actions. Therapy encourages clients to come to terms with accepting, working through, improving, and hopefully overcoming life adversities. Although solving problems is an ideal reason to pursue therapy, this does not always happen. Clients who seek therapy with the pretense of one problem often discover that this identified concern is really just a manifestation of deeply-rooted, complex issues. Likewise, not all clients benefit from therapy. Those who are unmotivated, in denial, or strongly resistant to receiving professional help may find that therapy does not fix any of their problems. This is a major cause for professional burn-out. Again, the therapist does not do the fixing or take an action initiative. That is the client’s job.
“Therapists are trained to provide the best advice for me.”
Therapists are not trained to give advice. They are trained to help explore the layered, interactive process that involves helping a client make the best decisions regarding his or her well-being. Humans come from an endless variety of backgrounds, cultures, and opinions, thereby making them intrinsically unique. In other words, the right decision is not a black-and-white solution. Therapists who give advice risk jeopardizing the client’s quest for independence. He or she can lead the client in the “wrong” direction for him or her.
“I’m not crazy; only crazy people go to therapy.”
Just like only smart people go to college, moral people attend church, and people who love each other get married. Actually, the bulk of therapeutic treatment focuses on depression, anxiety, and adjustment disorders. Symptoms of these disorders often result from the difficulties and pain from coping with everyday life stressors. An overwhelming majority of clients seek therapy to improve situations in their lives. They are not on some fanatical quest to achieve sanity. Besides, the term “crazy” is highly offensive, and a good therapist would never perceive a client in such a way.
“If I go to therapy, all I will do is lie on a couch and talk about my mother.”
Freud fathered this stereotype; almost every subsequent therapist exploration has debunked it. Sure, there is usually (but not always), a couch, but no therapist would make a client lie down on it if he or she did not want to. In fact, establishing rapport and trust is an essential feature of the therapist-client relationship, and most interpretation is based on nonverbal, rather than verbal, behavior. Lying on a coach can make this task very difficult. Moreover, while some therapists explore familial relationships, this plunge into the past is becoming more outdated. Newer, short-term therapies tend to focus on immediately identifying problems in the “here-and-now” present and providing viable solutions.
“I’ll have to go to therapy forever.”
The length of treatment largely depends on individual. Some can achieve substantial progress in a few sessions; others may spend years working through problems. However, a therapist will never force a client to stay in treatment. In fact, ethical guidelines require therapists to appropriately assess their clients’ progress and reduce or terminate sessions once the client achieves measurable levels of success. Yes, some clients do attend therapy for years and years, but that is because they find the treatment helpful and beneficial to their lives. Therapists do not promote long-term dependency. This dissuades from the major goals of encouraging self-confidence and independence.
“People who seek family or couples counseling have failed in their relationships.”
The maintenance of interpersonal relationships can be extremely stressful and difficult. While dysfunction in itself is not necessarily a problem, ignoring it is. Unaddressed issues do not just disappear; people tend to just adopt destructive coping mechanisms to handle them. Oftentimes, the unit fails to recognize the foundation of their toxic communicative or behavior patterns, thus resulting in resentment, anger, or a sense of hopelessness. By that point, the family or couple may believe the situation is simply irreparable. However, therapy can help identify core conflicts, restructure perceptions, and increase the resiliency of interpersonal relationships. Families or couples who seek therapy have not failed. Rather, they have made the brave and proactive choice to succeed.
“I don’t need therapy. I need medication.”
Medication serves a clear purpose in the biophysical realm, as it can reduce severe symptoms and improve chemical and neurotransmitter imbalance. Indeed, for some disorders, a medical prescription may be essential. However, clients who are only interested in taking medication deprive themselves of working through the core issues that can improve cognitive awareness, happiness, and well-being. Medicine treats the biological scope; therapy treats the cognitive and behavioral scope. Furthermore, clinical research supports the notion that clients taking medication have a greater likelihood of achieving progress and stability if they attend conjunctive therapy.
“Unless he or she has experienced my problem first-hand, there is no way a therapist will be able to understand what I’m going through.”
This thought process is common for people undergoing tremendous pain. Grief often demands support, familiarity, and strength in numbers. This is, in fact, the main premise for Twelve-Step programs, and indeed, this mantra has likely contributed to their high rates of success. People dislike contrived sympathy or the sugarcoated, “everything will be all right.” Therapists will not pretend to understand every client’s pain or trauma; they will not pretend to know exactly how it feels. Trauma inflicts every individual differently. What therapists will do, however, is provide true and genuine empathy, sit with the client, let him or her explain the problem, and discuss any vulnerabilities or fears. Clients often threatened to expose deep internal wounds, fearing misinterpret or judgment. It is the therapist’s job to provide comfort and offer the best treatment for that client. For this reason, they are trained to offer unconditional regard.